


Rivers

by Bur



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fairy Tale Elements, M/M, Merlin ex Machina, Minor Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-18 18:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13687515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bur/pseuds/Bur
Summary: In which Lea gives up, gives up, runs away, gives up, runs away and somehow winds up exactly where he's meant to be.





	1. Lea i

**Author's Note:**

> Soulmate trash! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ 
> 
> I’m not sure why I even had this idea when my shrivelled crone heart can’t romance.
> 
> Spoilers for pretty much everything in broad strokes!

“Rivers know this:  there is no hurry.  We shall get there some day.” - A. A. Milne

  
  
  


✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Lea i *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

Lea didn’t have a soulmark, but that was okay.  That was the lie he told everyone.  

 

Truth was, it wasn’t okay.  It wasn’t okay Kingdom Hearts couldn’t find anyone in all the worlds who was his perfect match, but it wasn’t like he could do anything about it, so it didn’t do him any good to sulk.

 

His mom told him his life would be more exciting without anything predestined.  Even when he didn’t make it up to her waist he thought she was full of shit.  What did she know, anyways.  She talked to her faded mark every day like it was his dad himself.  But damned if he was going to let life prove her wrong.  He was going to lead the most exciting life, and drag everyone around him along for the ride.  Lea was going places.

 

Sure, it all went pear-shaped, but it wasn’t as if he’d been promised the good kind of excitement.  Or, for that matter, good places.

 

He looked at Isa in the cell across from him as footsteps approached, sharp heels clacking against the stone-tiled floor.  It was the same as his. Heavy bars between them and freedom, and nothing but three walls and a grate in the floor for daily necessities.  Nothing to sleep on, no blankets, and just enough food and water to get by.

 

Isa’s face had grown sharper over the weeks - it  _ felt _ like it’d been weeks -  and his hair was lank with dust and grease.  Lea was sure he didn’t look any better.  At least they got a change of clothes now and then, thin grey things that looked like they’d only been dunked in dishwater and wrung out, but it made him feel a bit more human again.

 

He’d stopped being able to smell himself, and wasn’t sure if that was a good thing.

 

It’d been while they were changing that he’d seen Isa’s mark for the first and only time, in assertive writing across his chest.  He’d only been able to make out the beginning before it was covered.  

 

_ “May your heart-”. _

 

Didn’t matter anymore.

 

The other cells were empty, now.  No one had returned after they were dragged sobbing and screaming beyond the doors at the end of the hall.  There wasn’t any proof anything bad happened, but, well.  Lea was reasonably sure no one was locked in an underground dungeon just for funsies.

 

“I’m gonna miss you,” he said to Isa.

 

Isa looked over at him, one of his eyes still swollen shut from his last escape attempt.  Lea’d never been so proud.  Sure, he’d gotten a good kick in the ribs during his, and damn did that make living hurt, but no one could  _ see _ it.  Isa had a  _ badge of honor _ right there on his  _ face _ .

 

Isa’s mouth split into one of his rare smiles, making a cut on his lip split open as well.  “Nothing to miss about  _ you _ ,” he quipped back.

 

“I take it back.  I’m not going to miss you at  _ all _ , you jerk.”

 

Neither of them said sorry for the mess their lives had become.  

 

Their strange captors in their long, hooded cloaks dragged Isa away, his yells as he struggled to escape cutting off sharply as the door closed.

 

Lea said sorry to his mom instead.  She was the only one out there who would miss him.  He’d been such a hellion, wanting to make his mark on their small piece of the universe to make up for the lack of one on his skin.  Make life  _ exciting _ .  

 

Lea hoped the whole mess wouldn’t ruin her life too much, that his body would get tossed out and found so she didn’t spend the rest of her life just  _ wondering _ .

 

He didn’t know how long it was before footsteps came for him.  There were no windows, and the light never changed from a steady dimness that was just enough to get by on.  Without Isa to talk to, Lea’s mind settled into a grey haze.  He’d slept, once or twice, and though he thought it’d been a long time no food or water had been left for him since Isa was taken away.

 

His stomach twisted and cramped, like it was trying to wrap itself around his spine.  He scraped his tongue against the dry, cracked landscape of his lips.  As nothing happened and nothing changed, it was hard to care even about that.

 

Lea tried to fight when leather-gloved hands wrapped around him, but he was weak and sore, and, maybe after Isa was taken, maybe he’d given up.

 

And for the first time in his short life he was glad he didn’t have a soulmark.  No one would have to carry the first words his sorry ass would’ve said to them, watch their mark fade into an old scar, and think they’d lost something worthwhile.

 

***

 

_ (Lea tried asking around Radiant Garden about his mother while he was training, but no one even remembered her name.) _

 

***


	2. Axel i

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Axel i *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

Axel didn’t have a soulmark, but that was okay.  It was one less thing to think about, and he had far too many things lately to think about.

 

Some Nobodies did, which he thought was weird as fuck, but apparently hearts and souls were just different enough.  Vexen droned on and on about the details of it once when he’d made the very poor decision to mention it after seeing the remnants of writing etched onto the man’s collarbone, but Axel’d tuned him out almost immediately. Some had them, some didn’t.  Some were carried over from their previous life, some disappeared, some faded, and some were new.  The details didn’t matter.

 

Nothing about that would help him and Saix take over the Organization.

 

Okay, nothing about that  _ would’ve _ helped him and Saix take over the Organization.  When he wasn’t looking Saix had gone from crazy to  _ crazy _ and he was just grateful his ass hadn’t been collateral after how the whole Castle Oblivion business had shaken out.

 

Axel didn’t have a soulmark, but Roxas  _ did _ .

 

If Axel cared, he would’ve thought it just a bit unfair a kid who took over a week to learn his name had someone out there who was his perfect match, but Axel didn’t.  And wasn’t.

 

It’s just, it was weird the words covered by Roxas’ wristband were the first ones Axel said to him.  Kingdom Hearts was a damn tease, is what it was.  Or would’ve been if Axel cared.

 

Which he didn’t.  That’d make him as crazy as Saix.

 

But he wouldn’t be Axel if he didn’t tease Kingdom Hearts right back with its destiny crap.

 

“Hey, kid.”

 

Roxas rolled his eyes as Axel sat next to him on the ledge of Twilight Town’s clock tower and handed over a popsicle.  “Aren’t you tired of that yet?”  His sleeve slid back as he wrapped his fingers around the stick, revealing the checkerboard band that covered those words in a rough scrawl.

 

“Never,” Axel says with a grin as he bites down into the sea-salt ice cream.  “I’m a simple man.”

 

With a snort that told epics about what he thought about that bullshit, Roxas started on his popsicle, legs swaying lazily in the air as he watched the sun set.  Rather, Axel watched Roxas watch the sun set from the corner of his eyes as the changing light made his hair go from gold to orange and gave his pale skin a false glow.

 

The quiet hung comfortably between them, soft and undemanding.  Axel enjoyed these moments the most, when he didn’t have to put on an act and play the tough enforcer around the other members of the Organization or the sympathetic ear to Roxas, though the latter was becoming less of an act.  Maybe it was no longer an act at all, but Axel wasn’t ready to admit he was in that deep.  Attachments were dangerous, and anything he thought he felt couldn’t be real anyways.  Xenmas was quick to stress the point any time it was appropriate.

 

Which, with Xenmas, was any damn time he wanted to.

 

Roxas broke their silence when the sky began to purple.  “You remember your past life, right?”

 

“Mmhm.”  Everyone in the Organization remembered, except for Roxas.  Axel tossed his used-up stick to the ground and leaned back on his hands.  “What’s up?  Curious?”

 

“Yeah, I guess.  I mean-,” he broke off and shook his head, trying to put his thoughts into words. “I think I’m starting to realize how much I’m missing.”  His face pulled down into a scowl.  “And how much farther it goes than just  _ knowing _ things.”

 

Axel tilted his head up and watched as the stars slowly made their existence known in the darkening sky.  “I was born in Radiant Garden.”  He grinned.  “I’d take you there, but, you know.  It was a nice place.  A few of the other Organization members were born there, too, and I knew them when I was a kid.”

 

He heard more than saw Roxas turn quickly towards him in surprise.  That was fair, it wasn’t like he’d talked much about himself before.  If ever.

 

“Okay,” Axel conceded, “‘knew’ is a bit strong, but they either worked in the ominous castle I was trying to sneak into or guarded the ominous castle I was trying to sneak into.”  Saix didn’t bear mentioning.  It was safer for everyone.  “I was still pretty young when my heart was taken, so I kinda grew up in the Organization.  Probably explains a few things, right?”

 

The silence this time was less comfortable.  A thinking silence, going by the way Roxas’ brows were furrowed.

 

“Lately,” Roxas said quietly, “when I dream, I see the ocean.  There are plants I don’t know, and people I’ve never seen before.  The water’s so bright my eyes hurt, and when I wake up I can smell…,” he trailed off.  “I want a  _ life _ , Axel.”

 

Axel didn’t want a soulmate, but  _ if _ he did he definitely didn’t want a soulmate like Roxas.  For one thing, the kid was, out all of them left, the most likely Organization member to go renegade and get his fool self killed.  Axel was good at picking those out.  It was his job, after all.  The watching, and the killing.  The “icky stuff”.  

 

For another, well.  Axel looked at Roxas, taking in his half-grown limbs and the baby fat that still softened the lines of his face.  It was hard to keep himself from reaching out to find out if Roxas’ face was as soft as it looked.

 

Axel didn’t have a fantastic relationship with common decency, though he was on better terms than many of the other Nobodies.  The Organization did not recruit based on a high quality of character, after all.  Even so, he was uncomfortable with how his view of the boy had changed.  Axel had gone from more or less parenting Roxas to-

 

The kid deserved better, that’s all.

 

***

 

_ (In his dreams Lea’s holding three sticks of sea-salt ice cream, but he doesn’t know why.) _

 

***


	3. Axel ii

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Axel ii *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

Axel didn’t have a soulmark.

 

Axel didn’t have a heart either.  He’d been so sure of that once.  He’d been told that was impossible for Nobodies, but after a while it was hard to trust people who lied to him all the time.  Naminé thought they had hearts, but same problem there.  The girl seemed sincere, but she was dangerous.  It’d be unwise to let his guard down about her after Castle Oblivion.

 

So, he wasn’t so sure anymore.  Maybe he did have a heart, or maybe it really was him remembering how things were supposed to feel.

 

But, if he did have a heart, and how else could he feel this strongly, it was a very angry heart.  It screamed, lashed out at the world, and hurt everything he cared about because after so long being angry it didn’t know how to react to fear and grief any other way.

 

It drove Roxas away even though Axel wanted nothing more than to keep him close.

 

That was the problem, wasn’t it?  Wanting Roxas, but not wanting what Roxas wanted.

 

“Why is it so obvious now?”

 

“Don’t talk.  We’ll- I’ll-”  Sora’s hands hovered over where Axel’s body was disintegrating and dissipating into the air, like if he waved them in the right direction all the pieces would float back down.

  
Axel was reasonably sure it didn’t work that way.

 

“Hey, kid, don’t worry about it.  Worry about getting to Kairi.  The rest of the Organization isn’t as upstanding as me, you know?  If you think I’m heartless, you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

 

Sora’s face twisted in distress. “No, I… I’m not sure that’s true anymore.  You don’t act like you don’t have feelings.”

 

Axel rolled his eyes.  “Don’t be dense.  Maybe I’m just a good actor.  A  _ great _ actor.”

 

The look Sora gave him back was pure Roxas, the one that said, “Maybe you’re just full of shit.”

 

“Don’t think about it too hard,” Axel said.  “You’ll hurt yourself.”

 

Sora spluttered, and Axel swore he started to wave his hands in a way that made bits of him start floating off faster.

 

“See?  Nothing here worth being sad about.  Just nothing going back to being nothing, only I’ll get to talk less.”

 

Axel swore he heard the duck sarcastically mutter, “A crying shame,” from where he and the dog busied themselves inspecting the perimeter of the battlefield.  Seriously, that jerk was supposed to be one of the good guys?

 

“But what were you trying to  _ do _ ?” asked Sora, like they had all the time in the world for a heart-to-heart.  

 

Heart-to-heartless.

 

Or maybe it really was a heart-to-heart.  Honestly, it was far too late in the game for this.

 

“I wanted to see Roxas one more time.  He was the only one I liked, and,” Axel let out a sigh that was more dark miasma than air, “I think he deserves an apology.  I was just so-,” Desperate?  Possessive?  “I was a bad friend, let’s leave it at that.  

 

“Kairi deserves an apology, too, after everything I put her through.  Think you can manage telling her for me?”

 

“What?  Why can’t you tell her yourself?”

 

“Really?”  Axel gestured down to where it was pretty obvious he was missing most of his legs now.  

 

“Erm.”

 

Axel raised his hand to create the portal that would tear what was left of him apart and paused.  “One more thing.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Probably doesn’t mean anything anymore, but Roxas had a soulmark.  Any chance he was just sharing yours?”

 

Sora sat back on his heels, eyes wide.  “No,” he said, shaking his head.  “I don’t have one.”

 

“Huh.”  Axel grinned.  “Neither do I.  Guess we have something in common.”  He raised his hand again and a portal swirled into existence in a flash of green light even as he rapidly faded away.  “Go to Kairi.”

 

“...Thanks, Axel.”

 

Those weren’t such bad words to die with.  Sure beat the first time around.

 

***

 

_ (“Take care, okay?” _

 

_ “Right back atcha.” _

 

_ They were good at lying to each other, not that it mattered anymore.) _

 

***


	4. Lea ii

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Lea ii *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

Lea had a soulmark, and wasn’t that a trip.

 

“It doesn’t make any  _ sense _ ,” he’d complained, first to Ienzo, and then to Even, and then to the walls of Hollow Bastion.  

 

Ienzo ignored him.  

 

Even pointed to the neat script on his collarbone that’d followed him through three lives and shrugged before going back to sleep.  Becoming human again had taken a lot out of the guy, more than any of them.  

 

The walls also ignored him, but that was less of a disappointment.

 

All of that paled in comparison to his disappointment at Isa’s absence.

 

And that was a mere speck of disappointment to finding Saix again.  If he ever got Isa back he wasn’t letting the man out of his sight.  Ever.

 

None of it was Isa’s fault, not really.  Goodness knew Lea understood what being a Nobody did to the psyche, and he just had to flag down Riku to get a rundown on how possession messed with someone’s mind, but it was going to take a long time to trust that Isa wasn’t going to go full vessel-of-Xehanort the moment Lea let himself blink.

 

All in all, Lea was having a heck of a time settling back into humanity, swinging wildly between the highs of Keyblade training and being the  _ good _ kind of nuisance for once, and, well… practically everything else.

 

“Break time!” Kairi called out from in front of him as they approached the Fountain Court.

 

Lately “training” involved a heck of a lot of running around Radiant Garden, and much to his chagrin the girl who was half his size had twice his endurance when it came to long hauls.  Kairi still looked fresh as a daisy as she took a seat on the fountain’s steps, while he draped the full length of his body along the flagstones and spread his arms out wide.  The coolness of the ground seeped up through his overheated muscles as he panted in a horribly undignified way.

 

Kairi twisted around and rapped his chest with the backs of her knuckles.  “You’re improving!” she said cheerfully.  “Last week you gave up in the middle of the aqueduct.”

 

Lea narrowed his eyes at her, not believing that sweet smile in the least.  ‘A heart of pure light’ his ass.  “You’re enjoying this.  You’re enjoying this, and you need to hand in your Princess of Heart card.”

 

Kairi covered her mouth as she laughed brightly.  Her eyes glanced down at the flagstones, and she let out a soft gasp.  “Oh!  I didn’t know you had a soulmark.”

 

Lea glanced down at his wrist.  Ah, it wasn’t covered up today.  Usually his gloves did it for him, but he didn’t like doing the running thing in full kit when he was having a hard enough time already.  “Doesn’t most everyone?”

 

She shrugged.  “Yeah, but Sora doesn’t, so I don’t like to assume.”

 

“I think I remember him mentioning that.  We had that in common, but when I woke up human again it wasn’t true anymore.”

 

“It’s new?”  Kairi tilted her head curiously.

 

Lea nodded.  “Didn’t have one the first time I was human, either.”

 

“I didn’t know that could happen.”  Kairi reached over and brushed the utilitarian writing with her finger.  “‘Axel’.  That narrows down the list of potentials.  There aren’t a lot of us around who knew you by that name first.”

 

“I don’t like my odds given who’s left that I haven’t run into.”  Imagine, for example, being tied by destiny to  _ Marluxia _ . Or  _ Larxene _ .

 

Lea suppressed a shudder.

 

“What about the friend you were looking for?”

 

Lea shook his head.  “I think you know where he ended up.”

 

Kairi pushed herself up off the steps and loomed over him, fists on her hips.  “Don’t tell me you’ve given up on him!”

 

“No,  _ never _ .  Every day without him hurts.”  Lea sat up and rubbed his chest over his heart.  “But you gotta admit it’s not the smartest thing in the world, trying to split Sora in two when we’ve got a bunch of complete insanity to defeat.  I’m not giving up, but now’s not the time, you know?”

 

Kairi groaned in the back of her throat, obviously frustrated and torn between what she thought was right and what was practical.  She sat back down.  “Do you think Roxas is your soulmate?”

 

Lea turned his body to face her, crossing his legs and hunching over a bit so they were more of a height. “I hope so, but it’s all right if he’s not.  I want my friend Roxas back more than I want my maybe-soulmate Roxas.  

 

“I wanted him when I as a Nobody,” he admitted.  “Kind of like a kid wants a toy, and then, I guess, more as I started to grow a heart.  But, I also knew I would be the worst thing for Roxas.”  His fingers picked at the fabric of his shorts.  “Axel wasn’t a good person, you know.  He couldn’t afford to be.”  Lea paused.  “And Roxas was so  _ young _ .  That wouldn’t have been cool.”

 

“Huh.  Hadn’t thought of that.”  She leaned forward, peering into his face suspiciously.  “How old  _ are _ you?”

 

“Not sure.”

 

Kairi leaned closer, and, seriously, this girl was going to be terrifying one day.

 

“No, really,” he said.  “I can tell you how long it’s been since I was born, but I don’t really know how much of that I’ve lived, if you get what I mean?  As a Nobody I went places where time worked slower, or faster, or not at all.  Best guess is more than twenty, less than thirty.”

 

“I’m not sure I want to give you Roxas anymore,” Kairi said, standing up and dusting off her shorts.

 

“Can’t blame you there.”  Lea stood up and stretched, grinning up at the bright blue sky above.  “You wanna make it real bad, technically Roxas isn’t even three yet.”

 

It was a shame he didn’t have a camera to capture the look Kairi gave him, but it was for the best.  The camera would’ve gotten ruined when Kairi shoved him into the fountains.

 

***

_ (In a drawer in Axel’s bedroom in the Castle That Never Was is a large, colorful wax candle shaped like the number ‘one’. _

 

_ In a drawer in Lea’s bedroom in Merlin’s house is a large, colorful wax candle shaped like the number ‘two’.  Lea had almost bought another, but put it back wondering why he’d need it.) _

 

***


	5. Lea iii

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Lea iii *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

Lea had a soulmark, not that it was doing him any good.  He supposed, growing up without one, he’d internalized all the romance and destiny of it without really looking around.  He hadn’t considered how many people would never meet their soulmates, because with all the worlds separated how likely was that, really?  

 

Didn’t think about what it must be like to have a soulmate, and then lose them.  Like his mom.

 

Didn’t think about what it must be like to have one, and  _ know _ you’ll never meet them.  Like Kairi, whose mark faded before Radiant Garden fell to darkness.  She’d shared that with him, not long after their talk about his soulmark.  As thanks for being open with her, or as an apology for pushing him in the fountain.  Both worked, far as Lea was concerned.

 

Lea couldn’t think of soulmarks as some measure of worthiness anymore, because if Kingdom Hearts didn’t think someone like Sora deserved love, why did any of them?

 

Maybe he was being punished for all the sins he’d committed by having something he’d denied wanting so badly dangled in front of him, knowing it was impossible to ever  _ really _ have it.  The soulmark, or Roxas.  Both worked, far as Lea was concerned.

 

Maybe he was just in a slump because there was a kid running around Disney Castle who was Roxas’ spit and image.  

 

Thankfully Riku had the good sense to pull him aside and mention it before he ran across the kid and traumatized the poor thing by hugging him and covering him in snot.  Never let it be said that Lea wasn’t a man in touch with his feelings - he’d been too far on the other side to ever let something as stupid as “reputation” or “social expectations” get between him and expressing any damn thing he wanted to.

 

As it was, it was only the presence of an incredibly intense woman channeling the protective aggression of a mother bear with her cub that kept him from going over and pulling on the boy’s cheeks to make sure that face was real because it was just  _ uncanny _ .  As if Roxas hadn’t aged a day since he’d become a Nobody.

 

Lea left for Yen Sid’s tower as soon as he could spit out an excuse, summons from the King be damned.  ‘Self care’ was one of those things Merlin had been really insistent on during their training.  “A sound mind makes a sound Master!” or something, and Lea hadn’t really gotten it because no one had ever accused him of being  _ sound _ .

 

As he idly stirred more honey into his tea - purloined from Yen Sid’s special hidden stash - Lea wondered if he was usually more on the level than he thought, because right now he really wasn’t.

 

Lea breathed the steam in through his nose and tried to will his hands to stop shaking before he picked up the cup.  It’d been two  _ days _ since since he saw the boy, and he was still a mess.

 

One day since he recalled his own history with the blond:  the weird kid who’d kicked his ass with a wooden toy key back before everything went wrong.  Lea couldn’t remember his name from his own memories, but Riku had called him “Ventus”, and that sounded right.  Who’d’ve thought an hour of play when he was a kid would come back to haunt him in the shape of his lost friend.  Who was really taking the shape of the weird kid.  ...because he’d been taking a nap in Sora’s heart?

 

He should be used to topsy-turvy heart-based nonsense by now, but sometimes it made his head hurt.

 

The kitchen door opened, and Lea got ready to die in case it was Yen Sid catching him in the act, though there was no way that old Master didn’t know Lea was slowly drinking his way through his jade oolong from the Land of Dragons.

 

“Hey.”  Sora’s spiky hair preceded him through the door as he peaked around it.  “Master Yen Sid said you were down here.”

 

Lea waved at him.  “Come on in, have some tea while the old man’s feeling sorry for me.  Might be the only chance you get.”

 

As Sora pushed the door open, Lea could swear that the whole atmosphere of the room changed.  It was like the young man was a small sun, and no place he went would dare to be gloomy or dour while he was there.  As Lea got him a mug from the cupboard, and another spoon for honey, he could swear he saw stray cobwebs tidying themselves up.

 

They’d probably multiply until Lea was drinking more cobwebs than tea once Sora left, out of grief or something.  

 

He made a mental note to tell Yen Sid his tower was getting sweet on someone else and might be planning to leave him.

 

“What brings you here?” Lea asked as he sat back down.  “Master Yen Sid have a special mission for you?”

 

“I heard you met Ven.”

 

Of course.

 

Lea distracted himself from answering by filling Sora’s mug, though that only lasted all of five seconds.  He fiddled with the kettle’s tea cozy, a sloppy knit thing covered in yellow lumps that Lea suspected were supposed to be stars.  “...Yeah, though I didn’t really meet him.  I just saw him from across the courtyard.”  And spooked so bad he landed up several worlds away.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Lea looked up to see Sora frowning at his mug.  That wouldn’t do.  “What for?  You did a good thing.”  He waved his hand flippantly.  “I mean, I don’t know exactly what you did, but Ventus has his life back.  Don’t apologize for that.”

 

Sora shook his head.  “Not for that.  I’m glad Ven’s safe and awake, and Aqua’s been so much  _ happier _ , but,” he reached for the honey pot, “I’m sorry I couldn’t wake up Roxas, too.  I tried, but it was like I was calling out to thin air.  And then hearing you ran away... we were all worried.  Kairi wanted to come, but since it’s my fault I-”

 

Lea reached over and flicked his forehead.  “Seriously, don’t worry about it.  I won’t lie, seeing Ventus shook me up, but it’s not your fault.  Roxas is stubborn as hell.  If he thinks he needs to stay a part of you, there’s no amount of begging that’ll change his mind.  I speak from experience here.”

 

“I’m still sorry,” Sora said, rubbing his forehead.

 

“We’ll get our chance.  I’ve got a promise to keep, you know.  I’ll always bring him back.”

 

“Yeah.”  Sora grinned and sipped his tea.  “Oh!  This is  _ good _ !”

 

“Of course it is,” Lea said blithely.  “I had to pick three locks and break one magical barrier to get to it.”

 

Sora blanched.  “We’re dead.  We’re so dead.”

 

Lea wrapped his arms around his stomach as he laughed, and his stray cobwebs started to tidy themselves up.

 

***

_ (Lea stared at the little plastic glow-in-the-dark hearts Kairi had plastered across across his bedroom ceiling and scowled.  “What was the point of making you a promise you won’t let me keep?”) _

 

***


	6. Lea iv

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Lea iv *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

Lea had a soulmark, but sometimes he wanted to burn the damn thing off.  However, since he still absorbed fire magic, he put a wristband over it instead.  And when that reminded him too much of Roxas, he switched to gauntlets.  It seemed appropriate, the creme leather armor protecting him from what lay beneath it.

 

There were days Lea couldn’t stand to look at his soulmark.  Over the years the utilitarian letters had become an accusation, a constant reminder of failure.  It remained dark and unfaded, like a taunt.

 

How long had he known Roxas?  Actually, really spent time with him?  Well under a year when it came down to it, between Castle Oblivion and the missions that kept them apart.  He knew in his head it was unhealthy to stay so fixated, so why couldn’t his heart let go?  Was it proof Roxas was his soulmate, or just proof he was twisted up inside, pining after the memory of a boy who only got increasingly younger than him as time passed.

 

It’d been six years since his humanity had been restored.  The worlds weren’t broken apart anymore, and Xehanort… Lea didn’t know what happened there, and with how Sora and Aqua looked afterwards he thought it better not to ask.

 

Even Isa was back, more or less.  He still had a lot to work through, and was uncomfortable around people he’d known as Saix.  Lea respected that.  They’d catch up when Isa was ready.

 

Everything should’ve been perfect, happily ever after, except Roxas seemed to have been subsumed by Sora entirely.  Sora, selfless as ever, had let several of them into his heart, one after the other, but it was like Roxas had never been there at all.

 

And Lea… Lea gave up.  Promise broken.  End of the line, collect your belongings, enjoy your stay.

 

He wasn’t proud of himself, but it wasn’t fair to Sora  _ or _ himself to keep trying the same thing over and over like maybe  _ this _ time the result would be different.  Self care, like Merlin said.  If Lea kept pushing there wouldn’t be any sound minds or sound Masters.

 

Besides, there was a  _ huge _ world out there to explore!  A huge world where he wouldn’t have to watch Ventus grow into the man Roxas never would.  It was as good of an excuse as any to bug out, and if it absolved everyone else of their assumed obligations and let them get back to living… that was good, too.

 

It was  _ fine _ .

 

Everything was fine.

 

There were more and more days where that wasn’t even a lie.

 

Life was… _ good _ .

 

Lea spent a lot of his time walking.  He’d quite never got the hang of turning his Keyblade into a glider, but he was working on it.  One day he’d manage it for more than a few minutes, and then there’d be  _ no _ stopping him.  

 

Some of the lands that’d been restored had fantastic infrastructure, and some even had an industrialized population, so it wasn’t like he spent the whole time walking.  There was a significant amount of time also spent on trains, as a stowaway, naturally.  There were a lot of issues surrounding currency that Lea had not anticipated - why wasn’t munny good enough anymore? - but even if he had it wasn’t like he had much more than the clothes on his back, a pack of rations that were becoming increasingly stolen, and a pair of glasses Merlin had been  _ very _ insistent about Lea taking with him.  He kept them close at hand, even as weeks turned to months and more, because the wizard always had his reasons.  Every puzzling problem he came across, he pulled out the glasses.  Hadn’t worked yet, but they would eventually.  Lea was as certain of it as he was of anything.

 

After crossing through woods and plains, rivers and seas, and city upon city upon city filled with more kinds of people than he could have dreamed, Lea came upon the broken down ruins of a town dominated by a large clock set between two towers.  He looked down on it from the top of a tall hill as the sun broke from the horizon behind it and grinned.

 

“This looks like a place worth exploring,” he said to himself, and used his Keyblade to anchor himself as he slid down the steep slope towards the town.  

 

Lea thought it must’ve been a very cute town, once.  Traces of white and indigo paint lingered on the on the houses where they hadn’t been scoured bare.  The cobbled fountain square showed signs of a large star pattern when he perched himself high enough on the dried up fountain to see the whole thing.  There were flower planters  _ everywhere _ .  Barren, of course, but it all painted a picture of a group of people who’d been incredibly intent on making their slice of the world a cheerful place to live.  He could understand the drive.  His room at Merlin’s,  _ still _ his room since the wizard could somehow make them at will, had become an absolute riot of color by the time he’d left on his travels.

 

He ran his fingers through his cropped hair and looked around -- ah!  There was a path that looked promising.  It meandered in the general direction of the clock tower, which was even more impressive and imposing from the town center.  It  _ loomed _ .  

 

As Lea walked up and down stairs, through alleyways, and climbing over fallen timbers and siding, he found the occasional grim trace of battle.  Scorch marks on stone.  A decomposing shoe which, when he prodded it cautiously with the end of his Keyblade, proved to still have bits of a decomposing foot.  It must’ve been hit with strange magic to linger around for so long.  Pits, shattered timber, discolored splashes dried onto the walls, scraps in the cobbles like a great claw had torn through them.

 

Whatever battle had been fought here, Lea thought Heartless weren’t involved.  Nothing to prove it, but he had good hunches when it can to what the darkness in people’s hearts was capable of.  This place had already been a wreck by the time it was lost to Darkness.  If that were the case, it might even predate the Keyblade War, and wouldn’t that be a heck of a story to bring back to Radiant Garden.

 

A great gear had fallen from the clock tower and sliced a nearby house clean in half, and Lea would be lying if he said that didn’t make him a little nervous about the large structure, but like hell was he going to let a little thing like possible death stop him.  Never had before.

 

It’d be the death of him.  Had been already, actually.

 

_ Twice _ , even.  Lea figured himself an old hat at chancing fate and losing.  Why stop now?

 

And with that encouraging thought in mind he pushed himself through the splintering mess of what had once been a door at the base of north tower.  He was, rather unsurprisingly, greeted by a lot of stairs.  A lot of dusty, crumbling, awful stairs that lead to dusty, crumbling, awful rooms whose contents had been destroyed in a disturbingly thorough way.  

 

Lea recognized it, the way fear and grief manifested through anger.

 

The stairs ended with a locked door, which was both the least surprising and least intimidating part of this mess of a dead town his fool self had decided he  _ had _ to explore.  Because of  _ course _ there was a locked door, it’s very  _ existence _ begging for him to open it.  And here he was, a Keyblade user whose bread and butter was unlocking things.  Bashing and burning things, too, but the unlocking part was what was important right now.

 

He held out his hand, summoning his Keyblade into his waiting palm.  Lea pointed it at the door and watched with a satisfied smile as light poured out from the end and a soft  _ click _ echoed off the stone walls and the door swung silently inwards.

 

A magical haze shimmered in the doorway and obscured the inside of the room beyond, and that might be more of a problem.  Lea was not the man to call when there was magic to be analyzed, because while he could do it, he had to do it the idiot way.  The touch-it-and-see-how-it-feels way.  That was all well and good when the magic did something nice like heal, but then there were things like lightning barriers.  Lea did  _ not _ like lightning barriers.

 

Whatever magic surrounded the room at the top of the crumbling clock tower in middle of a town that may or may not have killed itself could be benign, but Lea was not willing to bet everything on those odds.  He remove the hard case with Merlin’s glasses from one of his pockets, took off his pack, coat, and shoes and left them on the next landing down.  He’d leave his clothes and scarf down there too, but the Three Good Fairies had made them for him.  Nothing sturdier than fairy clothes.  Their tailoring survived  _ Sora _ , and if that wasn’t a roaring endorsement for quality, nothing was.

 

He brushed his fingertips against the barrier, and was heartened by not immediately being electrocuted, frozen, or otherwise blasted down the stairs.  With deliberate slowness he pushed forward until one arm was on the other side of the doorway up to his elbow.  The air in the room was cooler, and where the barrier passed through his arm crept a tingling sensation, like ants were on a march around the circumference of his forearm.  

 

It felt... 

 

...crisp, controlled stagnation.

 

Stasis?

 

Oh, Lea  _ had _ to go in there now.

 

He pushed right on through, and spent the next minute scratching at his skin to get rid of the crawling feeling before he had a look around.

 

The first thing he noticed, before absolutely anything else, was how many  _ books _ there were.  Walls, filled with shelves, filled with books of all sizes.  All of this knowledge, possibly from before the worlds were broken apart, carefully preserved with what must be the most impressive stasis spell ever if it was still active, and who stumbles upon it?   
  


Lea, the least scholarly nomad.  If Ansem, Ienzo, and Even knew about this they would cry.

 

He’d have to bring them here and watch it happen.

 

The next thing Lea noticed was some of the clock’s mechanics had overflowed into the room.  They were still, naturally.  The clock was obviously not in working condition, what with parts of it littering the town.

 

As Lea walked further into the room, mage-lights flared to life as they sensed a presence.  His socked feet were silent on the wooden floorboards.  Half-filled vials, notes bound with twine, all sorts small machines in various states of disrepair and, of course, loads and loads of books.  They couldn’t be contained by the shelves.  The books took up small tables, rest piled in tall stacks on the floor, dog-eared and bookmarked.

 

At the back of the room he found a work desk.  The floor surrounding it was covered in books and trinkets, but the desk itself had been cleared off save for a line of masks: a unicorn, a bear, a snake, a leopard, and, at the end, a fox.

 

The unicorn’s horn had been snapped off in the middle.  One side of the bear mask was crushed in and crusted over in brown - there was no mystery how that one met their end.  The snake was incongruously pristine.  There wasn’t so much as a smudge of dirt on it.  Scorch marks ran down the leopard mask like tears.

 

The fox mask had been snapped in half, and beneath the delicate, white pieces, Lea found a note.  He couldn’t read it, Lea didn’t recognize the letters used at  _ all _ , but...

 

It took a few minutes to go out, grab his stuff, and re-enter the room.  He had to pause each time to scratch the crawling tingles away, and Lea hoped there was someplace in here that worked like a toilet because he didn’t want to experience that sensation again for a while.  Three times in an hour was plenty, thank you.

 

Lea walked back to the work desk and opened up the small case to reveal a pair of round, silver-framed spectacles that could’ve come right off Merlin’s face.  “So uncool,” Lea muttered, but he put them on his face with a fond smile.  He missed the old wizard, and the Three Good Fairies.  And all the kids, though they weren’t kids anymore, were they?  When he went back to Radiant Garden to rub his finds in the scientists’ faces he’d have to go visit everyone.

 

He looked around, and didn’t notice anything different until he glanced at the spines of the nearest stack of books.

 

He could read them.

 

How did Merlin  _ do _ that?!

 

Lea picked up the fox mask’s note and held it close to a mage light so he could make out the thin, looping writing.

 

_ ‘May your heart be your guiding key.   _

_ I didn’t follow mine.  I’m sorry.’ _

 

He placed the slip of paper down and carefully pushed on the pieces of the fox mask until they they fit back together.

 

***

_ (“A picture book?” Lea looked curiously at the package Kairi was holding close to her chest. _

_  
_ _ “Mmhm,” she nodded.  “My grandma used to read it to me.”) _

 

***


	7. Lea v

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Lea v *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

Lea had a soulmark, though every now and then he forgot about it.  Sometimes, when he took his gauntlets off to let his skin breathe, he was surprised to see the neat writing was still there and dark and crisp as the first day he saw it.  

 

Sometimes, he wondered if there was any logic to soulmarks at all, or if it was just like life - everything up to chance.  And sometimes, like life, you got dealt a bad hand.  Maybe becoming a Nobody, and then having his humanity restored, were redeals.  If Lea ever came across Luxord’s Somebody again, he’d have to share his theory.  If anyone could appreciate it, it was the gambling addict.

 

He placed the fox mask’s note between the pages of the thick book he was thumbing through and set it aside.  Lea wasn’t used to this kind of life, reading and note-taking.  Research.  He’d never finished school, what with losing his heart and all.  Book-learning hadn’t been important for his role in the Organization.

 

Still, despite the gap in his skill set, he was trying to get a good, general idea of everything this library had to offer.  Do some cataloguing, quote some passages… basically find enough to make everyone at Hollow Bastion start frothing at the bit.  It was a  _ long _ trip, and Lea wanted to make the trek back to Radiant Garden worth it.  After two weeks he almost had enough.  Just a few more shelves, some more titles, some more teases...  

 

He was running out of food, anyways, and the food Lea  _ had _ he was increasingly uneager to eat.  A man could thrive on dried meat, fruit, foraged roots, and hardtack for only so long.  He’d taken to mixing the lot with dandelion greens from near the fountain square just for variety.  There was a nearby stream that might’ve had fish, but he didn’t have anywhere near the patience or desperation to give it a try.

 

He sighed and pushed himself up from an armchair that could’ve done with quite a lot more padding.  In the short walk across the room to his bookshelf of choice, he stretched his shoulders back to open up his chest and hoped all the reading wasn’t going to make him permanently hunched over.

 

Lea squatted on the floor so he was at eye level with the next shelf down.  He ran his fingers across the leather spines looking for something to spark his interest and found a small section of books with gilded titles:   _ The Lady of the Prized Heart, The Masquerade of Stars, The Entwined Moons, The Empress and the Light,  ... _ and  _ The Queen’s Forbidden Virgin.. _ ?!

 

Lea barked out a laugh as he caught on.  Whoever this library belonged to must’ve had a penchant for  _ romance _ novels, and after browsing through so many books about darkness and corruption it was an unexpectedly delightful find.

 

This called for daylight reading.  Lea had been loath to remove any of the texts from the stasis field, both in case they proved too fragile - something that nothing else he removed proved to be, but who knew - or in case of a sudden rainstorm, or a bird deciding to shit on it, or whatever.  They were too valuable to risk.  But a  _ romance novel _ ?  Oh, yes.  These books he had no problem taking outside.

 

And while he was at it…

 

Lea grabbed a heavy cauldron he’d requisitioned from a longtable filled with experimental equipment and vials and scoured to within an inch of its sorry metal life.  If he was going to spend a few hours out in the sun, he’d be able to keep a couple flagstones hot enough long enough to unshrink some rations and make a dried meat, hardtack, root veg, dandelion stew.

 

By the time the afternoon started to pass into evening, and he was spooning his dinner into his mouth directly from the cauldron, he’d made it halfway through  _ The Empress and the Light. _  He didn’t see how the Empress could continue to romance a sunbeam, but far be it for him to get in the way of impossible love.  Just because it hadn’t worked out for him didn’t mean the Empress shouldn’t have happiness.  Go, Empress.

 

The next day Lea finished his cataloguing and note-taking, declaring them officially “Good enough!” to be a proper tease.  He re-packed his bags, shifting out some of his miniaturized rations that were on the wrong side of going off to make room for both his notes and the five romance novels.  Their gold edging and lettering glittered in his bag like treasure.  He didn’t have anything to wrap the lot in to protect it from the elements, but the waxed canvas had done a good job protecting his possessions and supplies so far.  He just had to hope it would hold together until he got back to Radiant Garden.

 

Lea rolled his bedding out under the stars that night.  The sky was clear, but there feeling, a smell in the air, that told of coming rain.  He looked forward to it after so long spent cooped up in the clock tower.

 

***

_ (“So,” Lea said, leaning against the lip of a fountain and gesturing with the slim book he held in his hand, “the Empress commissions a glass statue, has it put in the sunlight, and then she kisses it and it comes to life.  I don’t really get why, though.” _

 

_ “Because she loves them,” Belle said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and rest her hand on her growing stomach.) _

 

_ *** _


	8. Lea vi

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Lea vi *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

Lea had a soulmark.  When he wasn’t wearing his gauntlets, sometimes people saw it and asked what it meant.  He’d tell them it’s what he called himself when he went through a weird phase when he was younger, and they usually repeated what Kairi had told him years ago: “That narrows down the list.”

 

His ‘list’ was down to two, and had been since the end of the whole Xehanort mess.  Either his soulmate was whoever Larxene went around as nowadays, or it was Roxas.  And since Kingdom Hearts only disliked him instead of actively hating him, that meant his soulmate was Roxas.

 

That’s what Lea told himself when he was having a good day.  Better Roxas and gone than Larxene in any form or fashion.

 

“Are you certain you don’t wish to accompany Ienzo and me on our journey?” Ansem asked, breaking Lea out of his thoughts.

 

Lea used his finger to mark his place in  _ The Entwined Moons _ and looked up at him from where he lounged lazily on the floor in Hollow Bastion’s main common room.  Since every one of the scientists was a workaholic, pretty much the only things in there were a coffee maker and a couple of cots, because heaven forbid anyone go up a flight of stairs to a proper bed.  It was a good place to hang when he wanted quiet.  

 

He pushed Merlin’s glasses back into place on his nose, something that was now reflex after so much time spent reading with them.  It was starting to feel strange not wearing them.  “Nah,” he said.  “I think I’m done travelling for a while.”  

 

Truth was, after the six-week journey back to Radiant Garden, he was  _ tired _ .  The relief and joy he’d felt walking back into Merlin’s house, finding the room the wizard had created for him unchanged, seeing the old man and the Three Good Fairies same as they ever were, it’d been so unexpected his legs had almost given out from under him.

 

Ansem regarded him solemnly.  “It is good to remind one’s self of home.”

 

It really was.  “If you find any more of their romance stash, could you bring it back for me?  They had good taste,” Lea said.

 

Ansem’s lips twitched upwards, which Lea counted as a win.  “Of course.”

 

Lea spent more time than usual walking around Radiant Garden - reminding himself of home, as it were.  He took in the flower boxes that’d sprung up everywhere, and the way the repaired cobblestone pathways had been arranged into playful patterns, and thought of the ruined town that looked like it’d started out bright and optimistic, but had, nonetheless, ripped itself apart in the end.

 

It was strange after nearly two years of travel to be settled in one place, surrounded by things and people he recognized.  To have a  _ bed _ .  There was something to be said about the simple pleasure of having a soft place to rest his head each night, and there was an added benefit of never waking up in the morning to find some critter or other had decided it was a great idea to seek shelter in his bedroll.

 

The best thing, more than a bed, more than seeing Merlin again, more than finding the corner store near Merlin’s had started carrying Twilight Town’s sea salt ice cream, was when Isa reached out to him.  Now they were meeting regularly for lunch at an outdoor cafe.  Lea chattered on about his travels and the books he was reading, Isa talked about all the ways things had changed in Radiant Garden, and they absolutely didn’t mention anything about Axel and Saix.  Neither of them were up to ribbing each other like the used to yet, but it was a start.

 

Lea settled into a pattern.  In the mornings he’d get turned down when he offered to help cook breakfast with the Good Fairies, who, much to Lea’s continuing confusion, always insisted on at least  _ trying  _ to cook without magic.  It would end horribly, though not as horribly as when Lea had been training with Kairi, and someone, usually Merriweather, would aggressively conjure pancakes.

 

After breakfast, Lea would go for a run around Radiant Garden, another horrible habit from training with Kairi, and catch up on the town gossip.  There was much more of that now with the increased travel.  He recognized some of the fashion that’d been imported from kingdoms he’d passed through, colors and hemlines tweaked for Radiant Garden sensibilities, and stifled a laugh at how much more expensive the price of what he’d thought were common spices was.

 

Sometimes he had lunch with Isa, or sometimes he’d clean out another corner of Merlin’s storage room - a task no one had tackled since Lea had left - and then he’d read, repeat the breakfast fiasco with dinner, chat up Merlin, and go to bed.

 

As one day flowed seamlessly into the next, Lea wondered if this was close kind of life Roxas had ached for.  No crises beyond hoping he’d picked up the right things from the market for dinner.  No secrets.

 

No fighting.

 

He knew he’d eventually have to go to Disney Castle to find out what gaps they had a Keyblade wielder could fill, but it was nice spending time just being instead of doing.  Maybe a part of him was still avoiding, if only because by now it was second nature, but he finally felt he was ready to reach back out to everyone he’d left behind.

 

Maybe they were waiting for him to be ready, just like he’d been waiting for Isa.

 

Disney Castle had settled only a few hours by train from Radiant Garden, so he could make a weekend trip of it.  If Lea was feeling especially ambitious, he could find out where Yen Sid’s tower had decided to stick itself and ask the old Master if he was ready to try for the Mark of Mastery.

 

Lea should have known better than to make plans.

 

Night found him staring at  _ The Queen’s Forbidden Virgin _ where it lay on his bed.  The gold flourishes on the cover sparkled in the lamplight, bold against the deep blue leather they were stamped into.  Stolen treasure, nestled in the gingham patchwork of his quilt.

 

Lea brushed the book with shaking fingers and thought maybe he’d visit Destiny Islands instead.

 

***

_ (“So they fall in love leaving letters for each other, see, because their curses tied them to their moons’ movements, so, even if they’re in the sky at the same time, they’re in different places.” _

 

_ Isa scratched his chest where his soulmark used to be.  There was nothing now.  Both him and Lea were able to find the ironic humor in that, grim as it was.  “How did they break the curse?” he asked. _

 

_ “Eventually there was a double lunar eclipse, one moon in front of the other.  They met for the first time, kissed, and the curse was broken.”  Lea frowned.  “That’s the fourth book that’s ended like that.”) _

 

***


	9. Lea vii

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Lea vii *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

Lea had a soulmark, and he wasn’t interested in shopping around.  Not everyone was like that, of course.  Enough people never found their soulmate it was considered a foolish way to live, even if some hearts and families got broken by a soulmate suddenly appearing as if out of the ether.  That happened a lot in the trash serials Lea used to pick up at the grocer.  He imagined it was less sensational in real life.

 

An abstract floral tattoo wrapped its way around Riku’s bicep, obscuring his soulmark entirely.  A few years ago he’d announced his love wasn’t tied to fate, and gone the extra mile to rub his disdain right in Kingdom Hearts’ glowing face.  Lea admired that kind of conviction.  So had Sora - he’d reacted in the same manner usually expected from a marriage proposal.  Lea supposed, in retrospect, it wasn’t far off.

 

So, with that in mind, Lea was surprised by Riku’s enthusiastic support of his idea when Lea explained to him, Sora, and Kairi why he was visiting.  Maybe the younger man also read romance novels.

 

Sora, on the other hand, was significantly more nervous than Lea expected.  

 

They’d all decided to go to the beach, if for no other reason than that’s what one does on a tropical island when one has visitors.  Lea didn’t mind, even if the amount of sunscreen he had to slather on meant there were grains of sand sticking to every bit of his exposed skin.  Whether or not things worked out the way Lea hoped, the ocean would be there, and the sun would be shining.  He’d make the best of it, and probably end the day with the color of his skin trying to rival the color of his hair.

 

Sora kept glancing over at Riku, like he was expecting him to start objecting.  “You’re sure you’re okay with this?” he asked Riku for what had to be the fifth time.  Lea would feel bad, except it was such a strange thing to witness.

 

Beside Lea, Kairi placed her face in her hands and groaned impatiently.  “Sora, he’s said ‘yes’ every time you’ve asked.  Stop trying to ruin this fairy tale experience for me.”

 

Lea shoved her shoulder, almost making her lose her balance in the sand.  “For  _ you _ ?”  But he thought he knew what the real problem was.  “It’s all right if this doesn’t work,” he told Sora, keeping his tone gentle.  He was asking a lot of the other man, scratching at a wound that hadn’t healed very well for either of them.  “I’m working with a note a dead person left in an unbelievably raunchy romance novel.  Complete shot in the dark here, so no expectations, no fault, and no guilt, okay?”

 

Sora breathed in deep through his nose and let out the air in a long sigh.  “I’ll try,” he said.

 

Riku leaned over to kiss Sora’s cheek and pushed him forward with a hand in the middle of his back.  “Go get ‘im,” he said with a grin before sauntering off to join Kairi where she was now sitting on her towel in the sand.  “Go on,” he said, waving his hands at them in shooing motions as he sat next to her.

 

Kairi leaned towards Riku and loudly whispered, “I don’t know why we didn’t think of this.”

 

“I know,” Riku whispered back just as loudly.  “It’s perfect.”

 

Lea looked over at them suspiciously.  What the hell were they going on about.  Kairi’s fingers were covering her mouth and Riku’s face was resting in his cupped hands as they both looked up at him and Sora with a strange glint in their eyes, and what happened to  _ no expectations. _

 

He turned back to Sora, who had his doing-battle-with-Darkness face on, and his breath left him in a laugh.

 

These three were going to be the third death of him.  Sora’d been involved in the second one, so it wasn’t out of the question.

 

“Come on, Sora.  You look like you’re about to punch me, not kiss me.”

 

Sora deflated a bit and rubbed the back of his head.  “It’s important!  I know what you said, but-”

 

Oh for goodness sake.  Lea covered Sora’s mouth with his hand, cutting him off.  “Nuh uh.”  He pulled his hand away until just the tip of his thumb rest on Sora’s lower lip - rough and chapped, but still soft.  Lea wondered- no.  He wouldn’t do that to himself.  “Ready?” he asked.

 

Sora glanced over to Riku and Kairi, and let out a laugh.  No doubt they were still looking at Lea and Sora with stars in their eyes.  “Yeah.”

 

Lea leaned down as Sora lifted himself up on his toes, slow so they didn’t shame themselves in front of their audience.  As their lips met, and Sora effortlessly sealed their mouths together, Lea realized just how much more experienced Sora was than him.  It wasn’t that he didn’t know.  He just didn’t  _ know _ .

 

Nothing happened.  To Lea, it felt as impersonal as a handshake, just a bit wetter.  With a disappointed sigh - and wasn’t he a hypocrite for that - he leaned back, pulling away from Sora’s lips with a soft ‘pop’.

 

Only, something followed.  Light at first, both in the soft touch that pushed up against him and in the brightness that forced Lea to squeeze his eyes shut.  However, the both vanished quickly enough in opposite manners.  He was left blinking spots out of his eyes while a sudden, unexpected weight caused his knees to buckle.  Lea fell ass first into the sand, the weight coming down with him sending him the rest of the way onto his back and pushing the breath out of him.

 

Lea’s vision cleared, and he found himself staring up into blue eyes framed by tufts of blond hair.  It was a little wrong, either his memory or the angle making the reality above him defy expectations.

 

“Axel?” questioned a voice that wasn’t quite right either.

 

Nevertheless, there was no doubt in his mind that, somehow, his plan had worked.  Lea was helpless against the smile that took over his face.  “Hey, kid.”

 

***

 

_ ( _ ‘There is no curse, no poison, no malaise, no darkness, no sorrow that cannot be Overcome by Love’s First Kiss. - Master of Masters’

 

_ What a load of crap.  Lea snapped  _ The Queen’s Forbidden Virgin _ shut on the note pencilled within.  It’d take more than some romance novels to get his hopes up again. _

 

_ But… _

 

_ What if… ) _

 

***


	10. Lea viii

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Lea viii *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

Lea had a soulmark.   He had a soulmate, too, and wasn’t that a trip.  A very awkward trip.  Roxas and Lea were strangers, after all.  Six years and change since they last saw each other, and, while Lea lived every last minute of it, Roxas… hadn’t.  Not directly.  Roxas didn’t know how different Lea was from Axel.  Neither did Lea know how Roxas had changed from his time within Sora.

 

So, it was awkward.   _ They _ were awkward.  The romance novel solution hadn’t brought with it the romance novel ending.

 

Roxas was upset about all the years he’d lost.  He spend a lot of time talking with Sora and Riku the first couple days, which… well, it hurt that Roxas wanted to get a rundown of everything that happened from other people, but he got it.  Given how often Axel had lied to Roxas, it could only be expected.  Lea would just have to do his best to earn Roxas’ trust, that’s all.

 

What Lea didn’t expect was to nearly have a panic attack when Roxas went to have some time to himself without telling anyone.  Kairi simultaneously talked him down from doing anything impulsive that he’d regret later and convinced him to ask Isa for therapist recommendations.  “Self care,” she reminded him.

 

“Sound minds make sound Masters,” Lea finished sourly, but he knew she was right.

 

So it was awkward, and messy, and sometimes he and Roxas hurt each other without meaning to, but it didn’t mean they weren’t trying.

 

“I didn’t know you wore glasses,” Roxas said as Lea sat next to him at the end of the pier.  His voice was deeper, matching his older body.  Lea struggled with that, reconciling the boy he knew with the physical reality of the man next to him.  Maybe it would’ve been easier if Lea hadn’t avoided Ventus so successfully as he’d grown up, but he had, and so the sharpened lines of Roxas’ face, the way he’d grown - taller than Sora, much to the other man’s chagrin and Riku’s teasing delight - and the broadness in his chest and shoulders… It was still new and a little alarming, even if Lea couldn’t deny that Roxas wore his added years well.

 

Lea reached up to touch the bridge of his nose, and, yes, there were Merlin’s glasses.  “Oh,” he said dumbly, “I forgot to take them off.”  He set his hand down in the wide gap between him and Roxas and explained, “I was re-reading one of those books we told you about, but I can’t understand what’s written without the glasses.”  Lea shrugged.  “Wizard magic.”

 

“They suit you.”

 

Lea smiled and preened.  “What about the haircut?” he asked, fishing for more compliments.

 

Roxas waved him off.  “You look too tame.”

 

Lea laughed.  So much for that.  “You want wild, you should’ve seen how many burrs and twigs that mane of mine collected before I hacked it off.  I got mistaken for a dryad preparing for winter once.”  He looked out at the water as it glistened and turned colors with the setting sun.  “I could grow it back out,” he offered.

 

Roxas shook his head.  “No, it’s better this way.”  He set his hand down between them so the knife’s edge of it pressed flush against Lea’s.  “The differences remind me this is real.”

 

“Yeah,” Lea agreed softly, and let the quiet grow between them, soft and undemanding.  He’d always liked these times best.

 

He broke the silence when the sky began to purple.  “Do you still want a normal life?” he asked.

 

“I don’t know what a normal life is,” Roxas said, still watching the way the remaining light played on the sea.

 

“That’s all right.  Neither do I.”  Lea looked at Roxas, taking in his long limbs and the bit of baby fat that stubbornly refused to leave his cheeks.  It was hard to keep himself from reaching out to find out if Roxas’ face was as soft as it looked, but he didn’t have to anymore, did he?

 

He reached out, slow and obvious and making sure to catch Roxas’ eyes so he didn’t surprise the other man.  With as much experience in combat as they both had, it was and wasn’t necessary.  Lea hardly needed to advertise he wanted to touch Roxas as blatantly as he was, but neither did he want to accidentally come across as a threat.  He didn’t know where he fell on Roxas’ trust scale yet, and didn’t want to get knocked down lower.

 

Roxas turned his face towards him, silently giving permission.  Lea’s fingers touched his cheek and brushed down to his jaw, running across the start of stubble, fine but  _ there _ .  The differences, the small things that should have been obvious but hadn’t been thought of, reminded Lea it was real.

 

Roxas reached out to him in return, first touching the frames of his glasses, then running his fingers through Lea’s short hair.  His thumb rested below Lea’s eye, where one of Axel’s tattoos used to be.  “I want to try,” Roxas said.

 

“What if we get bored?”  Lea meant,  _ what if we can’t? _

 

“Does it matter?” Roxas asked, answering both.  He took Lea’s hand in his own, turning his arm until Lea’s soulmark was on display and looked at it with a small smile on his face.  “Unless this is fake.  Then I’ll have to kick your ass for leading me on.”

 

“You caught me,” Lea teased.  “I’ve been writing my other name on my wrist every morning for  _ years _ .  Playing the long game.”

 

“Possessive bastard.”  Harsh words, and true, but said fondly enough.  In the growing shadows Lea couldn’t tell if the color on Roxas’ face was a blush or sunburn he hadn’t noticed.

 

Lea loved him, but they weren’t  _ in _ love yet.  Everything was too raw, old emotions and new  _ everything _ still trying to find an equilibrium between them.  There was a lot of hurt they still needed to talk about, before it got the chance to fester.  Lea didn’t think it would take much to tip them, though.  They were already starting to lose their balance.

 

Roxas was still holding his hand.  Lea moved his so their palms pressed together, and tilted his head up to watch as the stars slowly made their existence known in the darkening sky.

 

***

 

_ (The Three Good Fairies watched in bemusement as Lea rummaged around the kitchen, gathering together enough snacks to last him on the train to the seaside.  The boat to Destiny Islands couldn’t be helped, the trip took too long and there was no place for him to cook on it besides, but the train’s food cart prices were criminal. _

 

_ “We thought you were staying longer,” Fauna sighed out. _

 

_ “I can’t,” Lea said, stuffing an apple into his bag next to a hard roll he’d stuffed with meat and cheese.  “I have to get back Roxas.” _

 

_ The fairies looked at each other skeptically.  Lea didn’t begrudge them their doubt - they’d all been through this before.  Several times.  “I hope you’ve got a different plan this time,” Flora said. _

 

_ “Yes. and I have it on good authority it’ll work.”  Lea dug out  _ The Queen’s Forbidden Virgin _ out from his bag and held it aloft.  “‘Love’s first kiss’!” _

 

_ The fairies stared at him, eyes growing wider, then at each other.  Before Lea could blink, he was outside Merlin’s house with his bag overflowing with food and clean clothes. _

 

_ “What are you waiting for?  Get a move on!” Merryweather said and slammed the door shut. _

 

_ Lea shook his head and wondered what that was all about.) _

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my silly unromantic soulmate fic about the magic of Love's First Kiss! Honestly, why was this the first thing I've finished in years...


End file.
